Thursday, March 10, 2005
Sound
This one's a great one. Sound in Linux... kinda works. I can listen to music, watch movies, heck Linux knows more codecs than windows does after putting it through a Codec-pack-marathon. (which is a good thing since codec packs basically are a hodgepodge of all the codecs you ever wanted and the codecs to go with them and collide and incpacitate them... that's one minus point to windows and one plus to linux but hey! who's countin?)
the only problem with linux is the resulting hearing impairment...
WHAT? Oh you want to know why?
See... linux sound-server doesn't play two simultaneous sounds simultaneously... instead linux sound-server, in a geniously conceivied plan so horrendously cunning normal (just a little mentally challenged) people has no chance in a life time to figure it out, plays them in sequence...
So what happens to all the nifty app sounds when you for instance play a 2 hours movie?
You guessed it, I'm sure, 5 minutes of app-sounds after the movie (I'm sure there's a setting somewhere in some config file some place below or in the "/etc" -- think it's short for: "eeeehhh that's confusing?" or maybe "eek that's confusing?")
This... app-sounds queuing... would only be cute and annoying if it wasn't for one other sound-thing going on with linux... sounds in movies are so VERY FUCKING LOW, I have to turn all volumes up to even hear anything... Now on the other hand volumes on app-sounds are normal... however, once you're turned all volumes up to ARE-YOU-FUCKING-NUTS-level... once you stop the movie and the app-sounds starts playing (very rapidly after each other's... remember volume is WAY UP AT THE TOP?) your hearing goes to COCKSUCKING CUNTWOOD FUCKSYLVANIA! (Yeah I wish I could hear myself too... but right now I hear the sound of a SPLURB ring tone that somehow was invented by some synthesiser-operator jerkoff that thought it was having a fresh and clean sound no doubt... or maybe his boss thought that and Jerkoff just wanted to earn his living... notice how dogs in pain bite anyone near them? I'm trying to illustrate pain here...)
the only problem with linux is the resulting hearing impairment...
WHAT? Oh you want to know why?
See... linux sound-server doesn't play two simultaneous sounds simultaneously... instead linux sound-server, in a geniously conceivied plan so horrendously cunning normal (just a little mentally challenged) people has no chance in a life time to figure it out, plays them in sequence...
So what happens to all the nifty app sounds when you for instance play a 2 hours movie?
You guessed it, I'm sure, 5 minutes of app-sounds after the movie (I'm sure there's a setting somewhere in some config file some place below or in the "/etc" -- think it's short for: "eeeehhh that's confusing?" or maybe "eek that's confusing?")
This... app-sounds queuing... would only be cute and annoying if it wasn't for one other sound-thing going on with linux... sounds in movies are so VERY FUCKING LOW, I have to turn all volumes up to even hear anything... Now on the other hand volumes on app-sounds are normal... however, once you're turned all volumes up to ARE-YOU-FUCKING-NUTS-level... once you stop the movie and the app-sounds starts playing (very rapidly after each other's... remember volume is WAY UP AT THE TOP?) your hearing goes to COCKSUCKING CUNTWOOD FUCKSYLVANIA! (Yeah I wish I could hear myself too... but right now I hear the sound of a SPLURB ring tone that somehow was invented by some synthesiser-operator jerkoff that thought it was having a fresh and clean sound no doubt... or maybe his boss thought that and Jerkoff just wanted to earn his living... notice how dogs in pain bite anyone near them? I'm trying to illustrate pain here...)
